SHOULD I LET IT DROP?
The weather looks so gay, the lushness of the green fields calling out to the birds adorning the beauty of the alluring sky. The scent from the damp soil mixing with the flowery smell sets off a trigger to remind me of my sense of smell.
The bushes brush past my feet as I walk past them not giving a care to whether I get bruised. I’m escaping from this reality as I hold onto the belief that I’m not meant for this. It’s been hard on me learning how to be strong even after the turbulent storms that have rocked my life.
They keep screaming at me in my head not to let it show, and if I do, then I’m weak. Yet how do I learn not to be weak?
Just the serenity that comes with the rain drops is all I could crave for right now, yet I’m not allowed to bask in its gracefulness. So I wish for this spring day to pass over quickly, as I escape to the coming summer.
Everyone is familiar with the word "tears" or "crying" because it’s an emotion that reflects in our lives. But sadly, it’s an emotion that’s often shied away from. I’m hoping to open your eyes to see through the beauty of this emotion and help you connect with it.
To cry means to shed tears, typically as an expression of distress, pain, sorrow, joy or happiness. Crying is the natural human response of our body to a whole range of emotions. Tears are produced whenever emotions are strongly felt, both the good an the bad. To learn how to understand this emotion, there is a need to understand its dynamics.
There are different types of tears:
1.Basal tears: it’s a protein rich antibacterial liquid that helps to keep the eyes moist each time a person blinks.
2.Reflex tears: it’s triggered by irritants such as smoke, dust, etc. Reflex tears are released to flush out those irritants and protect the eyes.
3. Emotional tears: it’s the response to a range of emotions.
Now that we started off softly, let’s get to the main course. Have you heard of this saying; "Boys don’t cry". This is what the average boy grow up hearing. They’re taught not to cry as it is seen as a sign of weakness and in order for them not to be called a "wimp" or "mama’s boy". The responsibility the society pushes on the masculine entity is one not to reflect weakness. Thus any sign of weakness is frowned upon. Hereby forgetting the natural phenomenon of it being okay to be weak, because just a side can’t create balance. There’s a need for you to be weak for you to decide to be strong and you may be strong and you might want to be weak at some point in time.
Crying in the societal eyes and norms is seen as a feminine thing; well naturally the feminine entity is endeared to feel more emotional. And it’s also seen as a sign of weakness, but it fails to recognize humans as emotional beings who are capable of expressing any kind of emotions. The human entity without attaching the gender identity is literally the same but due to differing norms, values & culture, priority is attached to a particular phenomenon which ends up affecting the humanity in us.
As beings with emotions, there will be times we need to release pent up feelings and a channel must be created to let it out. Human characters or personality varies, and what works for one may not work for another, so the avenues to release pent up emotions varies but there’s a universal channel that speaks for us even when we don’t want it to. That channel is CRYING!
Crying helps us to escape our sadness. It helps us when in despair as it searches for answer for us even at moments when we can’t find the right words. However as this act is frowned upon, as it is taken for a sign of weakness. The society delights in oppressing negative thoughts while forgetting that, to maintain balance, there’s a fusion of the good and the bad. I’m not justifying evil, but I’m stating the obvious fact we can’t always stop the negative from happening to us. The only thing that matters is how we let them affect us.
The society makes us believe that for the sake of others, we should avoid crying in order to be considerate of their feelings. But what happens to our feelings at that moment? There might be scenarios where it might be inappropriate to cry, but it hurts to see people embracing this lifestyle.
Emotions behind the urge of a depressing moment doesn’t just go away by holding it in. It bottles up & it releases in outbursts which might not be controlled, thus leading to behavioral issues.
Most of behavioral problems stem from the fact that emotions are not properly managed. Which is why there is a need to for an emotional intelligence course. This will help identify & manage emotions, help understand it better, how to respond to it and understand the emotions of others.
Crying is the fastest way of releasing pent up emotions as it allows you handle your emotions better. Crying is one of the easiest thing to do, as at a point, we come across something that either melt or shake our hearts but it’s also the one of the hardest thing to do as we might get criticized for it. Crying shows you’re brave even when you’re showing vulnerability. It takes a strong heart to sit in the place of vulnerability. It shows that you’re able to accept whatever emotions and express them while owning them, regardless if they’re positive, neutral or negative. You let yourself sit in that place because you want to feel everything & because deserve to be true and genuine to yourself and feelings.
Imagine you just had a breakup and you’re suffering from the pangs of it. Your friends come over and they tell you not to cry about it, but instead of telling you to shut down your emotions, it’ll be better to hear something like this: "I know you’re heartbroken and this hurts alot and it’s a hard time for you. I’m so sorry this has happened to you. It’s okay to cry and let it all out, I’m here with you and we’ll walk down this road together". This way you are made to understand that it is okay to feel this way and you feel much better while finding strength. So don’t pretend to be strong just to make others feel more comfortable.
Most of the benefits of crying have been highlighted above but here’s a more concrete list for you.
1. Crying releases endorphins which are chemicals produced by the brain and thought to promote feelings of well being. It also stimulate oxytocin, the body natural pain killer.
2. Crying helps to relieve stress. There’s this soothing and calming sensation you feel after you let it all out through your tears. It also helps to relax and keep a steadier pulse.
3. Holding in your emotions can be hazardous to your health. Life throws at us different shade of itself and most times it is quite hard to get a head start with everything looking blurry and confusing. Crying helps you to feel. It gives this sensation of remembering that you’re still alive,as it helps process your thoughts after clearing your head which will help foster creative thinking.
4. Crying can also be a signal to show you want attention. There are times we feel frustrated or just get tired of everything and we are left with no words in our mouths. Crying serves as an avenue to be our voice, and we get that warm hug or comforting words needed at that point in time.
5. Crying is one of the easiest way to heal from pain of loss. It could be animate or inanimate, we’ve all felt the pain of losing them at a point in our lives. Crying after a loss helps restore emotional balance and allows the grieving process to follow its course.
6. Crying helps you to bare your mind and leave your head empty of thoughts at that moment. In the meantime, it helps you realize the need to shed off weights weighing you down. You realize the need to stop holding onto something that’ll do you no good, because carrying such thoughts or emotional baggage can affect your health. So cry and let it out, while building yourself to be stronger.
7. Have you ever hit your toe against a stone or hit your head on a wall and you feel the urge to cry? Don’t feel awkward to cry when you hurt yourself. Crying actually helps you build pain tolerance and help cope with pains.
Crying is not a sign of weakness, rather it shows strength. Because it takes braveness to show vulnerability.
I’ll leave you with the words of Washington Irving: "There’s a sacredness in tears. They’re not the mask of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They’re the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love".
I hope you have a good cry today!!!
