FINDING YOUR DEMONS
Have you ever journeyed to hell? If you haven’t, then welcome aboard my flight. Do brace yourself for the first contact with the nirvana of perdition in all its mightiness.
Ouch! Did that come out too strong? Never meant to scare you that much, I bet you’re gonna enjoy the flames of this pit with me, as I bare to you the last fragments of my sucked out soul drowned in darkness, kept ablaze by this abyss.
I started out happy, young, wild and free! As any young one could be. Everything was perfect under the blue sky and lush green fields. I grew up basking in this reality of life and never for once had the taste of anything unpleasant, until my dear castles in the sky crashed.
The shoulder to lean on, the eyes that holds laughter,the warm embrace offered by the arms, the heart that beat, the presence to feel,the voice to remember, was all the evergreen I wanted, but cruelly taken from me and I was lost in the crumbles of perfection.
Freshly hit with the dawn of life, I had to learn to fight my way through it, but I’ve never been exposed to its ugly face and now I’m vulnerable at its fury.
The good memories started to replay before my eyes,as if I hadn’t been the one in them. The ache that comes with the realization that I might never get to experience such again dealt a huge blow to my already fragile heart, and I can’t help but to watch them being locked away somewhere in the good gone days, hoping I’ll survive this and have something to fall back on.
Things began to tug at my heart, nibbling on the edges of my soul, but I can’t figure out what they are at the moment. I only wanted to escape the misery that comes with loosing everything, but I got entangled in the turmoils of trying to put together a broken glass. I got so mad at life, for throwing garbage at me, garbages I’ve learnt to throw out! Garbage that don’t belong in the castle, but since the castle is now a dunghill, who am I to complain?
Self loathing, a hunger thrives within me, amidst the wanderings in my head, I feel trapped within myself and I get the shivers trying to decipher how wrecked I am.
I’m lost to the feeling of rage, that I can’t figure out how many feet I’ve been buried in its deep. My eyes emits the blackness of the sky on days without the heavenly bodies. I frenzied myself on life-and-death scenery, letting adrenaline take its course through my body, sending me on soaring waves of ecstasy gotten from the pain.
The darkness within which I’m trapped is a never ending nightmare unveiling mosters i never knew existed within me . How come I’ve never been told of the existence of them?
I opened up my channels to absorb the darkness rising within me and I collapse under the weight of birthing my demon.
Dark thought and emotions running through me, my demons clawing at me relentlessly, wanting to be heard, guess they’re getting tired of their castle in my head! In a bid to suppress them, I put on a mask.
With no one seeing through this facade, I decide to lose the battle engulfing my very essence.
Here I am on this endless journey to hell, wining and dining with the demons that have taken over me, and i’m intoxicated by their fury! But I really do wish redemption comes my way, and be raised from the pits of hell into heaven.
If you could go back in time to change one thing about your life, would you? It might be something trivial or enormous, but have you ever given thoughts to the demons living in you? This brings me to ask, can we be demon free?
Most of us have been brought up with the understanding that everything to be done in life has to fall in place with positivity, righteousness and being happy. We were taught acceptable behaviors in the society, and taught how to become a certain type of person.
The society set the standard for light, and expect its habitants to follow suit in its self acclaimed well organized life structure, thus we develop character traits of this design. This forms an integral part of our ego development. We’re not left with the choice to choose between who we are and who we want to be. We were raised in the reality of denying the existence of darkness. This style of upbringing suppresses the fact that the human life strikes a balance with the presence of the good/light, and bad/dark elements. It hereby excludes the dark side and embraces the light.
The society fails to realize that the dark side has always been with us since existence, but they tend to ignore it.
Behind the facade of light we carry around us, we have a hidden darkness. This materialize into what we know as demons or shadows.
Demon is the abstract term used to refer to the place that contains all of our secrets, repressed feelings, primitive impulses and parts deemed "unacceptable","shameful","sinful" or even "evil". They lurk within our unconscious mind and they contain suppressed and rejected emotions such as rape, jealousy, hatred, greed, deceitfulness and selfishness.(Aletheia Luna, 2018)
With the definition, does it still seem like we don’t possess them? We are very much aware of these traits, just that we might not be familiar with the general term for it.
In the light of recognizing what demons are, we are aware of the fact we’ve actually shoved these traits into a corner and we undermine the power they possess to rid us of a good life.
The society has set its moral stance, justifying some beliefs and behaviors while rejecting others. We’re expected to act in accordance with the moral stipulations. We therefore glory ourselves in self idealization and trap the negative challenging parts of our in denial of their existence.
We fail to realize that rejecting or denying the existence of our demons can overtake our lives,thereby destroying it completely.
Since we were not taught to appreciate our demons and channel them to healthy and good use,this leads us on the path of finding our demons. The demons in us yearns to be explored and understood, that is why they keep rearing their heads every little chance they get to remind you of their existence.
The process of finding our demons includes us exploring our inner desires, feelings, in terms of anger, vengeance, hatred etc, or behaviors such as addiction, obsession,depression etc and every hidden part of us that has been disowned, suppressed and rejected.
Since the dark side is innate, several factors could trigger their development, and we need to be able to identify the demons we have caged, and how they came to exist within us, in order to help channeling its use into a healthy one.
Carl Jung stated that 90% of our demons is pure gold. Therefore as we embark on this journey to discover our demons, we should be reminded of the fact that they are not all that bad, we shouldn’t focus on the sad and gloomy parts of it alone but dwell more on the thought that good things can stem from it. There is so much of our creativity, gifts and talents submerged within our darkness because we’ve been in denial of them.
In a bid to find your demons, there is a need for a clear understanding of why you’re doing it, so it won’t add to your confliction. Enter into a connection with the trinities of yourself; spirit soul and body.
There’s a need to have a medium to express yourself. This happens when you’ve come to acknowledge the existence of these demons and you want to let them out. At this stage, there’s a need to release all pent up emotions, and free your mind of them. Creativity is the best form of release through art form. Get your hands on things you love to do or you could try out new things just to get more creative artistically.
The medium could be in form of writing, drawing, painting, photography, singing or sculpting. Whatever the medium is, connect your soul with it and watch the amazing piece you’re gonna create. You will experience the joy that comes with putting to good use, everything that has always been denying you the path to illumination.
Meditation should be given a try, as it opens up the channel to our spirit, soul and body. Find a secluded, quiet and neutral place to meditate, communicate with your demons and bare your thoughts. This will allow you to tap into your intuition, creativity and develop a new found appreciation for what you’ve discovered about yourself.
Understanding emotional triggers. Emotional triggers are people, words, opinions, situations that provoke an intense and excessive emotional reaction within us. An inquiry should be made on what triggers us, as this will help to regain a sense of calmness and control. No backtracking steps should be taken by trying to repress them, instead we should find a way to let them out in a healthy way.
There are lots of benefits that stems from utilizing our demons in a healthy way,we develop a deeper love for our existence, improved state of self esteem,improved mental health, enhanced creativity and lots more.
Certain pasts don’t give us choices on what we become, they mold us into what they want, thereby taking away our freedom of choices. It is however, our choice to break out of it and decide amongst ourselves who we want to be and who we want to escape from.
